General L. Fontaine Siglerisimo is a distinct and complex identity within the arsenal of Scott Sigler’s multifaceted personality. Displaying a magnanimous leadership style, The General has amassed a following of rabid believers (also known as Junkies) who fervently follow his directives.
General Siglerisimo emerged initially in the late months of 2007. Although frequently mistaken for the celebrity author Scott Sigler, General Siglerisimo is indeed just one of the intense personalities within the author. When strategic and tactical decisions were necessary, General Siglerisimo became the dominant personality that controlled Sigler’s behavior and from time to time would do so to the exclusion of the other personalities. The General is frequently mistaken for the popular and effervescent personality known as the FDO™. The General holds the date of the 1st of April as a solemn national holiday. Followers around the world unabashedly celebrate the release of Ancestor and Infected on this day.
World Domination Timeline
One of the primary directives General Siglerisimo has popularized is the need for world domination. While this may seem to be the expectant and mundane mantra of most nefarious figures, The General has made world domination a real and present danger. The following timeline outlines the progression of The General's assault on the world, documenting each country as the fall to his singular will.
On the 6th of December 2007, world domination was initiated with the Japanese rights to Sigler's works being secured.
Shortly thereafter on the 2nd of January 2008, the beginning of the European assault was announced as the German rights to the novel EarthCore was secured.1
On the 21st of January 2008, the nation of Hungry was admonished by General Siglerisimo to “Convert or die!” – to which they wisely converted by purchasing the Hungarian rights for the novel Infected.2 At this point in time, the French had yet to succumb to the goodness of Siglerism, however it was evident that Europe as a whole continued to tremble as Siglerism advanced it's spread across the world.
When posed with the question of the possibility of relocation to the Emerald Isle, The General had the following decisive response: “Actually, no, I won't move Ireland. I could if I wanted to, I have that kind of power, but I'm thinking Ireland is a good base for my missile batteries. That way I can rain death upon all of Europe, should they piss me off by not sending the prerequisite tithe of 20 mega-hot goth school girls each year.”
On the 23rd of January 2008, Russian leader Vladimir Putin held a press conference to congratulate aspiring world dictator General Siglerisimo after AST Publishing bought the rights to publish the horror novel Infected in Russian. The story from the Associated Press was published as follows:3
MOSCOW (AP) - Russian President Vladimir Putin today announced his support of the Russian-language publication of author Scott Sigler's novel, Infected.
When Putin was asked about his feelings towards The General, he responded, "I like people that aspire to rule the world. That kind of can-do attitude takes real chutzpah."
General Siglerisimo has made no effort to hide the controversial fact that he counts Putin, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez and North Korean prime minister Kim Jong-il as his world-domination mentors. The General commonly refers to these world leaders as his "Three Amigos of Domination."
The General could not be reached for comment, however unsubstantiated rumors circulated that he was holed up in a remote area of the Andes, recording the audiobook for Infected.
On the 3rd of March 2008, just a mere 30 days out from the largest assault on the free world – the launch of the hardcover novel Infected – General Siglerisimo announced that he was picking out tank colors at Bob's Discount Tank & Rifle Outlet for the inevitable day when his tanks would roll down MainStreet USA, in a brash show of brute force.
Captian Delhome, an officer under General Siglerisimo’s regime was credited with the attack strategy of using tanks camouflaged with Hello Kitty designs. Key to this strategy of world domination was the issuance of Hello Kitty assault rifles that proved particularly effective against The General’s archenemy J.C. Hutchins.
When asked about this quixotic strategy, General Siglerisimo simply replied, “Nothing says ‘I think it's kind of funny to kill you and your people’ like a pink assault rifle decorated with stickers.”4
On the 29th of April 2008, General Siglerisimo’s conquest of the entire planet moved to Phase II.5 The General unveiled the cover for the trade paperback UK edition of Infected that was being made available on the 10th of July 2008. Soon afterwards, General Siglerisimo would release his map of world conquest. The sound of General Siglerisimo’s war machine was now being heard loud and clear by nations such as England, Australia, and New Zealand. Doom was at hand.
On the 28th of May 2008, the General announced that Siglerism conquered Taiwan. Taiwan fell to the Sigler Ascension as the Ecus Publishing House in Taipei bought Chinese complex character rights to novel Infected. This win effectively boxed in China from the North, East and South.
On the 18th of September 2008, the General announced that both Greece and Spain feel before the force that is Siglerism. Minotauro Publishing has purchased the world Spanish rights and Platypus Publications in Greece purchased the world Greek rights to novel Infected. In light of this momentous event, the General was quoted as saying, "I promise to destroy your cultures with the same brutality as all others ... General Siglerisimo believes in cultural equality."6
Advancement of Siglerism
Another tenant of the ideals of General Siglerisimo is the advancement of Siglerism. Similar to the major religions of the world – Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam– Siglerism is led by the charismatic author Scott Sigler. However, every good leader has an amazing supporting cast that major initiatives are delegated to. In the case of the prolific author, Scott Sigler, these initiatives for the advancement of Siglerism are delegated to both General Siglerisimo and his partner Pope Siglericus XXX.
One of the first missions was assigned on the 31st of December 2007. The code name of the initiative was Sigler Ascension Mission #1 – Amazon Revenge. Mission parameters were simple – those willing to heed the call had to go to the Amazon.com website and create an Amazon list that linked Infected to other great authors such as Stephen King and Chuck Palahniuk.
A later following mission was assigned with the parameters of emailing the Infected trailer from YouTube to unsuspecting potential readers. In the completion of this mission, the faithful followers were cajoled into assisting by The General’s assertion that “This [was] a simple mission that helps you, help me.” The General also asserted that if a follower “emailed 10, 20, or even 30 of the Infected videos to friends [that] would dig [it], the General may spare their lives in the Ascension”. Furthermore, it was asserted that at the very least, Pope Siglericus XXX would give blessing to souls in the likely event that General Siglerisimo killed indiscriminately.
- Scott Sigler's website
- Scott's Sigler's MySpace page
- "Press release" announcing Vladmir Putin's support for Infected